Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
that's an acceptable place to lick
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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