Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
