No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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