ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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