Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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