i permit you to call me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
