Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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