i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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