i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
