dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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