Nicole vs. Life
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
