pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I think my moral compass just broke
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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