How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
