Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
bring money and cleavage
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
