I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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