is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
