maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
