3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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