i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
