look no pants
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
