Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
