i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
