I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize