Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
