is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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