I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize