You're so nebulous sometimes
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize