so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
