i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
