well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Damn victory sex feels great
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
