Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
