She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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