And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
