HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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