The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize