yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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