Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
