found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
