sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
