Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
