So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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