batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
