Nicole vs. Life
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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