Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
