i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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