***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
