do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Can I color on your dick again?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
