Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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