2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
