Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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