so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
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You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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