i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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