i jhust puked up my retainher.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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