KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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