Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
