we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Panties = found
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
