she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
