Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Watching her eat just hurts me
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
