Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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