small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
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if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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