better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
