it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
