yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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