did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
